OOPS! ( Mom MILF Edition)
by dogsfang
Summary: Yukari fires up a love potion on her chemistry set to use on Moka and Tsukune. What could go wrong?
1. Chapter 1 Potions!

Written in loving memory of Glen, you were the pervert and troublemaker of the group! You will be missed.

Rest in Peace.

Hello everyone! Its me Dogsfang, I just wanted to say that I do not own The Dresden Files, they belong to Jim Butcher, and Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling. Reading both of their books gave me an idea for a potion used in this story.

Now be warned this story has nothing to do with the manga or the anime. Also this is M rated so be warned!

I do not own Rosario+Vampire, it belongs to Akihisa Ikeda.

So without further comments enjoy!  
>Let the madness come-forth!<p>

R+V Milf OOPS! Chapter 1 Yukari should never do POTIONS!

Yukari walked quickly into the large human mall of shopping. It was filled with people doing there shopping for odds and ends. Yukari steadied her pointed witches hat and wand in small show of determination.

All the adults gave the small witch strange looks which, for the most part, Yukari ignored. She looked down at her list of items to get at the mall. All around her the stores were filled with signs of happy couples enjoying each others company due to the spirit of the season. After all Valentines day was right around the corner.

Yukari quickly made her way around the large mall trying to find her destination.

"Ah there it is DESU!" Yukari cried as she raced inside the candy store. The whole store was covered wall to wall in various chocolates, jelly beans, gummy treats, and various assorted candies.

Thankfully the store wasn't experiencing a rush of customers so the small witch was free to take her time.

Yukari walked up and smacked the small silver bell upon the counter top. A man with smooth black hair walked up to the counter.

"Oh what can I help you with little girl?" He asked a friendly smile on his face as he struggled to be nice to Yukari.

"I'm looking for some chocolate for my parents desu." The pint size witch lied quickly.

"Oh how sweet, what type of chocolate do your parents like?" The story clerk asked ignoring Yukari's pointy hat and wand.

"My parents like assorted chocolates desu. Would you get me the biggest box you have?" Yukari gave the man her cutest smile along with the cutest puppy dog eyes she could muster.

The man walked over one of assorted shelves and picked up a large box and placed it upon the counter top.

"Dumb kid must have a cos-play fetish, she's headed for juvenile hall in no time." He muttered. Unfortunately for him the small witch heard him.

"Your total is one hundred and forty dollars and ninety nine cents. So how would you like to pay for this?"

Yukari gave no answer as she waved her wand around and a large heavy wash bin appeared above the store clerks head and came crashing down upon it.

"Thank you come again..." The man blinked and let out a low moan fallowed by a groan, as he struggled to lift his head from the counter top after the wash bin disappeared from atop of him.

"Thanks desu!" Yukari called happily as she put the box of candies into a small purse. She quickly walked over to the man and quickly stole all the cash and his credit cards that were in his wallet.

Next Yukari quickly made her way over to a small store that sold perfume and cologne. She walked into the store and began to quickly look over the various types of perfumes and colognes.

I wonder which one is...OLD SPICE, AXE, I don't know. Oh whatever I'll just get them all." Yukari quickly jammed a can of OLD SPICE and AXE into her purse fallowed by two different types of ladies perfumes. The little witch quickly ran over and snagged a few scented candles by the desk clerk. Then she waved her wand in a wide arch.

The lights flickered out for a few moments only for a few hundred large wash pans materialized above the heads of the various shoppers. They fell upon each of them knowing them out for a few minutes time, giving Yukari time to escape unseen.

Yukari quickly walked across the mall as she struggled to fight off the tired feeling that was beginning to seep into her body due to her using magic. There in the front window was sign that said.

_**No admittance for persons under**_** 21.**

"Oh no desu!" Yukari quickly walked around as she struggled to think of a way to get into the store. That sold what she needed.

By a stoke of luck Yukari happened to spot Tsukune's father Koji Aono and his mother Kasumi Aono coming out of a nearby store. She waved her wand and two small iron wash bin fell on top of their heads. The happy couple quickly found his way to the nearest bench and sat down.

Yukari quickly waved her wand again only for two large wash bins to fall down from on the two of them. Yukari knowing she didn't have much time quickly ran over and showed the two of them the things on her list that she needed. In a trance the two of them simply nodded and began to carry out Yukari's instructions. The two them quickly returned with two large bags from the stores that Yukari had sent them to.

"Thanks desu I'm not old enough to be allowed into some of those places yet." Yukari flashed her cute innocent eyes at the two of them.

Her list complete Yukari walked back into the mall parking lot and over to the bus that would take her back to Youki Academy.

Later that evening at her room in Youki Academy.

Yukari the pint sized witch gently sat the small dark cauldron was sitting over an open burner.

Yukari quickly began unpacked the things that she had got at her trip to the mall.

Once that was done, she quickly opened her spell book to the brief overview of potions.

_**A potion consists of eight parts: a liquid base, five ingredients to engage the five physical senses, one to provoke the mind, and one to stimulate the spirit.**_

"Let me see love potion here it is." Yukari began to read.

_**No true potion or spell can bestow upon the recipient the true feelings of LOVE. For it simply bestows upon its recipient a feeling of infatuation at its simplest form, and pure obsession at its worst nothing more. Thus it is far simpler to earn your beloveds affection for yourself if at all. This potion is dangerous for a person with an infatuation and an obsession is truly dangerous in deed. That being said GO FOR IT! **_

Yukari began to add the ingredients.

"Tequila, champagne, wine, and Jack Daniels."

Yukari began to crack open the packages of OLD SPICE and AXE along with the packages of women's perfume.

Quickly she began to dump those into the cauldron. She quickly light the scented candles that she had gotten and then she abruptly dropped them into the cauldron and watched then dissolve into the acidic liquid. The pint sized witch then added the small chocolates that she had gotten into the convoluted mixture. She took out the wallet she had stolen and began dump the mans cash, change, and credit/debet cards into her potion as well, like she cared nothing for their monetary value.

Yukari then paused as she took out the small packages that Tsukune mother and father had gotten for her at Victoria's Secret.

"Sexy guy underwear with thong, and bra and panties, check." The cauldron began to sparked and light began to flare up in a angry red color, only to dissipate seconds later.

"Now for the hard part." Yukari quickly picked up the cauldron and began to carry it from her room down the stairs to her parents room. Yukari quickly turned the handle and let the door slowly swing open a crack. From inside the room the eleven year old witch could hear her parents grunts and cries of unbridled passion as the two of them had sex. While, painfully oblivious to their daughters work. Yukari sat the cauldron down on the floor just inside their bedroom door. The potion sparked and began to flash for a few seconds, only for Yukari to quickly drag it away and back to her room.

Then she opened the last package, inside was two dvd's and two romance novels. Yukari quickly looked at the picture of the lesbian couple embracing on the front.

"Humm, I wonder it that makes a difference, oh well." Yukari shrugged her shoulders as she struck a light on her burner and light the lesbian porn dvd and the romance and erotic novels on fire. She watched them burn to ash. Quickly collecting the ashes she put them into her cauldron, only to have it bubble and burn with angry red and purple flames, which died out a few seconds later.

"Humm, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to add a little Amortentia, just to make sure I cover my bases." The little witch chuckled as she quickly and poured a small beaker of the old potion into her brew.

The act done Yukari quickly began to put her potion back into one of the now empty bottles.

"Now all I have to do is get Tsukune and Moka to drink this desu!" Yukari cried her plan coming to fruition.

Hello everyone! I hope that all of you like this story. Keep in mind that this is just the first chapter. So please be patient.

As always review please.

Cheers Dogsfang


	2. Chapter 2 Mom vs Mom

Rosario+Vampire OOPS (Milf Edition) Chapter 2 Mom VS Mom

Now be warned this story has nothing to do with the manga or the anime. Also this is M rated so be warned!

I do not own Rosario+Vampire, it belongs to Akihisa Ikeda.

I also do requests in fanfic in regards to R+V. I just wish I knew how to set up a pay pal account I could in theory make money off my writing skills.

Anyway onto the story.

Yukari's room at Youki academy was cramped haphazardly with beakers, and test tubes filled various scientific mumbo jumbo, that only could be discerned and deciphered by the pint size witch herself.

A small knock at the door briefly startled Yukari. She quickly turned and walked toward the door of small but meager dwelling. She carefully looked out the small peephole in her door.

An agitated feminine voice came from the other side and said. "Yukari open up! Jeeze! What are you paranoid or something!"

A small drop of sweat dropped from the back of Yukari's head.

Never the less she closed her eyes as if praying for patients.

"How was Tahiti?" Yukari asked her voice the epitome of caution, to the strawberry redheaded woman on the other side of the locked door out in the hallway.

"Open the door you know its me!" Kokoa called out from the other side of the door as she rattled the door handle in frustration. However it soon became apparent that Yukari would not open the door to her. Kokoa closed her eyes and spoke once more.

"Damn it Yukari honesty! If I were like you id, never mind." The youngest vampiress muttered as she once more heard boarder-beings' voice from behind the door.

"How was Tahiti?" Yukari called softly.

"Its a magical place, but it sucked all the same. There now you have your stupid password, or is it a pass-phrase, anyway it doesn't matter. Now let me the hell in before I break down your door!" Kokoa threatened. Several soft _clicks_ could be heard from behind the door.

Finally the door opened and Kokoa stepped inside only to have Yukari slam the door shut once more and lock it again.

"Were you fallowed?" Yukari asked as she carefully began to brush her small black wand across Kokoa's body as if scanning for something. The strawberry red haired girl looked at her classmate with a look of frustration upon her face.

"Yukari come on do we have to go through this every time?" Kokoa asked as she rolled her eyes.

The look of annoyance Yukari gave her confirmed what she had suspected.

"Okay, okay I wasn't fallowed. By the way here is what you asked for." Kokoa reached up and held a small envelope with a black wax seal on it between her two of her fingers.

"I somehow managed to pull a miracle out of my ass and around the corner here so be grateful. Anyway I got you on the guest list and I got you an invitation. I love having a family who has connections to _**ANONYMOUS**_. Anyway remember in and out by Midnight Cinderella or if you aren't you are dead. HA! HA! Also if you get caught I don't know you." Kokoa smirked as she exited Yukari's apartment.

"God Tsukune and Moka need to get laid!" Yukari muttered as she watched Kokoa walk down the hallway.

Once the red headed vampires was out of sight Yukari quickly grabbed a large black bag and headed out the door.

A cool night breeze blew inwards carrying with it the scents of autumn and the Halloween scares. A massive mansion sat behind a large forest of slowly dying trees.

A tall man dressed in a blue uniform blew cigar smoke in Tsukune's face.

"Careful boy, a vampire party can be a dangerous thing to attend. He, he he!" The Bus Driver smiled creepily watching Tsukune as he exited off the bus dressed in a nice black tuxedo and tie.

Tsukune smiled warmly as he caught sight of Inner Moka dressed in white dress. He scooped her up into his arms and twirled her around hugging her. Unbeknownst to the two of them Yukari quickly kicked open the luggage compartment at the bottom of the bus. She rolled out and under the bus and away from both Tsukune and Moka.

A subtle melody of classical music drifted across the breeze in low mournful song caught Tsukune's ear, even as his nose caught a hint of various foods mingling with exotic perfumes. The scents made him feel warm all over despite the icy cold chill of the October air. Onwards through the wide variety darkness and the shadows of the forest . Slowly, but surly, he and Inner Moka began to move further and further into the maze like forest surrounding her father's home.

The ink like blackness seemed to get darker and darker and it seemed to Tsukune that the two of them were lost in the forest. Until suddenly a snotty voice broke through the inky blackness of the night.

"Invitation please." A voice said.

Tsukune swallowed and blinked as he found himself standing on the front steps of the Shuzen mansion. Even as he felt Moka's arm wrapped around his that didn't help to fight the nervous feels he felt.

Tsukune reached into his bottom pocket of his pants and pulled out a blood red colored envelope with a black wax seal broken.

The vampire servant dressed in a black suit and tie, stood with his nose thrust into the air; with an air of regal authority, despite the fact the he was a servant.

The servant quickly let his eyes run over the invitation within only to thrust the envelope back into Tsukune's hands.

Tsukune quickly followed the Moka inside the shadowy manor.

Inside the main hallway were numerous suits of armor which stood at lifeless attention as guests shuffled inside.

They turned up their noses as each of them looked at Tsukune with obvious dislike, like he was a bug that needed to be squashed under their boots and heeled shoes.

Inner Moka gently took Tsukune's hand as the two of them wandered out onto the dance floor. Suddenly Tsukune found himself awash in the strange sights and sounds of vampire high society.

Over the next few hours Tsukune ate the food, drank the wine, and danced with Moka. The luxuries Tsukune began to enjoy on himself, not to mention the company of Moka was more than he had ever dreamed before.

Tsukune looked over across the barren land of dead trees and at the massive castle that was the Shuzen estate and home to the silver haired vampire that he was currently dating.

"Tsukune, I am glad that you came." Inner Moka whispered happily.

Yukari closed her eyes as she crouched nervously under the table that held punch bowl. Quickly she ducked out from under the table and dumped her love potion into it, effectively spiking it. She ducked back under the table.

Tsukune walked over to the punch bowl and filled four glasses with the punch. He passed them around to Moka, her father Issia, Moka's mother Akasha, and Issia's wife Gyokuro. Moka. Unbeknownst to the group of vampires Yukari's potion was beginning to take effect.

Yukari jumped up in shock knocking her head upon the table as she felt a hand firmly grasp her shoulder.

Oh no desu!" Yukari cried as she found herself staring into the angry eyes of a vampire who was dressed in a suit and tie. The grey haired vampire yanked the pint size witch out from under the table. He quickly made his way to a door and then proceeded to throw Yukari out the door. The witch slammed head first into the trash cans outside.

**_(Lemon has been edited out. Sorry guys I don't want the witch hunters on me. If you want the full lemon pm me. I'll email_ it.)**

**_Hello everyone. I finally have time to update my work. Sorry it so short. But its the best I could do. I am working on backing up my fanfic work._**

Also yes I know Returns and Revelations as disappeared. It ended up getting deleted and I unfortunately, do not have a back up for it.

So I do not know what to do. If you want the unedited chapter let me know.

**_Cheers Dogsfang  
><em>**


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